Hi there, fellow mystics, lightworkers, shadow-workers, pagans, witches, wizards, readers, seers, and everyone else I may have missed!
As promised, I'm going to be doing the Healing Trauma Divination Spread today. I'm going to apologize as well because while it's technically still Friday, it's just barely. This took a lot longer than I thought it would, and I've been working on it for days with some breaks in between. Now let's face it. It's probably not going to be some crazy joyful post. I mean the name even has the word trauma in it... But let's face it sometimes, you've gotta work through some tough shit in your life in order to get to and enjoy the good things in life. So this post is gonna be me working through some of my own demons and hopefully giving you the courage to face some of yours.
Here is the spread I'm working with:
As you can see, it's not one of my own making this time, but that's because I came across this one, and it really resonated with me. So I want to take a minute to thank Reid Keera of Emerald Lotus Divination for coming up with this spread to begin with, and for allowing me to share it with all of you! I'll also be linking all of her social media down at the bottom of this post. I encourage you to check it all out and give her some love. Because this is the first spread of hers that I'm sharing with you, but it's by no means the first one I've used!
Let's get down to business, shall we?
First off, before we really get started, I want to go over a critical point with all of you. Like Reid states on her website, and like I state on my store's page, this CANNOT take the place of a medical professional. I genuinely believe that divination tools can help us process something like this by accessing our intuition, subconscious, and the innate magic within us. However, if you are going through something like this or have in the past... Please, please, get professional treatment to help you through this difficult time. And do not do this spread lightly. Though I would caution you not to do any spread carelessly, that's just me. You have to be ready to deal with the consequences of pulling things up to the forefront of your mind with this spread.
Here's what my completed spread ended up looking like:
I decided to use The Wildwood Tarot Deck for this spread. It's by Mark Ryan and John Matthews. And it's illustrated by Will Worthington. Now, let's go over each card individually.
1. How this trauma impacts my life
Four of Arrows - Rest
Stone: Turritella Agate - One of my all-time favs! It's made from fossilized seashells that have become agatized. Because it's so ancient, it has a marvelous energy of wisdom and strength to it. And is useful for connecting to past, roots, ancestry, and survival. Probably the reason I was drawn to it for this reading.
This card shows us a prone figure lying on the ground, with four arrows embedded in the earth - two at the head and two at the knees. While overhead, a large butterfly hovers. This suit also takes the place of the traditional Swords. And fours in numerology are all about foundations. Got a bit to unpack with this one...
Typically, this card is about rest—the recharging of yourself after long, harsh periods of stressful work or emotional trauma. It's about allowing time for your imagination to journey to the otherworld to renew your energy.
To me, this says that I've never actually allowed myself the time to rest and recharge myself. I compartmentalized so well that I've walled myself off to dodge the pain I feel. I avoid taking things out, processing all of it, healing from it, moving on, and letting go. Doing this means that I find no real rest or rejuvenation, only an illusion of it. I wish I could achieve sleep, but I barely get 3-5 hours of it in the morning, non-consecutively. I let myself get so run down, exhausted, and sick that I end up collapsing. After I've spent a long time in bed, I have the illusion of being renewed when it's simply not the case. On the flip side of this coin, you have imagination. I freely admit that my imagination could probably best be termed... over-active. I found a way to escape the pain of my childhood by withdrawing deep within myself. And once I was finally taught to read at almost 10, BOOM, mind explosion! I haven't put books down since. I spent SO much time in the worlds of different books and the fantastic creations that I built myself. So much time that I'm trying to write mine down. Because the realms I've made are too magnificent and the stories too grand to leave inside my head forever. But that's neither here nor there. It ultimately comes down to pure escapism—something which I've made into an art form.
2. Emotions I carry with this trauma
#7 The Archer
Stone: Super Pale Pink Quartz - It's always a good one to have on hand! It has a very gentle, loving, and calming energy to it. It's great for connecting to emotions and especially love.
This card of the Major Arcana shows The Archer at the moment right before she releases her arrow. She wields the broad-longbow with deliberate control. Her face shows focused intent, and she has two large hunting dogs waiting to assist behind her. She's ready for action but has to choose whether or not to loose her arrow. This card takes the place of the traditional Chariot. In numerology, sevens are about seeking wisdom and decision making.
With this card, it's all about being bold enough to make decisive choices and seize the potential opportunities that surround you. And embarking on a new adventure while forging a new life.
Unlike the Archer, I'm not quick in making choices. On the contrary, I tend to freeze up. Indecisiveness and worry trouble my mind most days. Though, I'm not sure you could call them emotions. They're more like symptoms of the fear, anger, and doubt that continually cripple me. I've made myself work on the rage extensively because it got out of control, explosive, and sent me into downward spirals. Not sure that I'll ever be entirely free of it, but I have gotten it pretty much tamed. It's the constant doubt that eats away at me that cause me the most trouble. I doubt myself over everything you could imagine, this turns into indecisiveness and fear over every decision I make. I'm trying to work on it and learning to trust myself, but it can still be paralyzing. I fear breaking away from what I've always known. Leaving where I am now, even though I've wanted nothing more to just grab my things and go for YEARS. I'm scared of having to start fresh somewhere, making new friends there, and finding my own family. Most of all, I'm terrified of repeating the same mistakes of my parents, mistakes I've already copied several times over myself... The truth is that just like Stephen Chbosky wrote, "We accept the love we think we deserve." It's sad sentiment but undeniably true. It's even worse when it appears to be less than what you've already been through. You don't recognize the abuse, the co-dependence, or the toxicity of your situation. You just don't see it the reality of it for what it honestly is.
3. How this affects my relationships with others
Ace of Stones - The Foundation of Life
Stone: Pale Pink Quartz
In this card, a tall arrow-shaped rock emerges from the ground. It's covered in spiral designs with a depiction of the labyrinth maze, that stands at the foot of The World Tree, in the center.
This stands for bringing a thought, idea, or dream into existence. Your plans form in your mind, organize them, and then set them in motion to manifest your new reality. The Stones takes the place of the usual Pentacles in this deck. Aces represent the raw force or spark of potential in each suit.
In this instance, my extremely tumultuous Foundation in Life has caused me to be severely distrustful of anyone else. I question people's motives and am overly critical of them (and myself). I'm always on the lookout for lies and deceit. I've walled my heart off from others and don't easily allow anyone access to it. Those that I do are usually facing an uphill or downright losing battle. Unfortunately, my abandonment issues mean I think everyone is going to drop me. So I push your buttons and push you past your breaking point to prove that you'll get violent, abusive, leave, or all the above. In doing this, I've created my very own self-fulfilling prophesy, and everyone does abandon me. But to be honest, like I said on the previous card, I don't usually pick the best people to begin with.
4. How this affects the way I see myself
Three of Bows - Fulfillment
Stone: Apache Tear - Is another favorite of mine. They're small rounded naturally formed glass pebbles that are dark-colored to black and spontaneously created through volcanic eruptions. They're basically a sub-set of obsidian. They look like solid rock and seem opaque looking at them but hold them up to the light, and it will shine right through. They remind me that even within the darkness, there is light to be found.
In this card, a figure stands at a crossroads with one hand raised as if to greet you and the other holding a bow. On either side of the road stand two rough, unfinished bows planted into the earth. The robe's design is that of the White (Air) and Red (Fire) serpents, from the Major Arcana #14 Balance, interwoven together. And reminds you of the Caduceus symbol. This suit is also the standard Wands.
Generally speaking, this stands for gaining nourishment from spiritual sources to increase our inner security and joy. A sense of completion is earned from reaching our goals and dreams. Funny...
Sure, I want fulfillment as much as the next person. I crave emotional stability, security, inner peace, balance, happiness, love, and I think everyone wants to reach their goals and dreams. I want it so bad it hurts sometimes. In order to achieve this, I've had to take a good long, hard look at myself, with all my flaws, demons, and the broken darkness raging inside me. It's not an easy task to work through all of this, heal myself, and let go of it. But I want more... I want to BE more, be better than I was, and better than I am right now. So, I'll continue working towards it and hoping that I'll reach even a fraction of it one day. Honestly, I don't see myself as being whole or worthwhile right now, and I've struggled with things like E.D.'s most of my life. But I have to hold out hope that one day I'll know I'm worth something.
5. An Energy I need to draw on to begin to release this trauma
Ace of Arrows - The Breath of Life
Stone: Apache Tear
In this card, it shows us a hill of green grass where the Uffington White Horse resides. Smoke billows from its mouth, and the eye, over which an arrow hangs pointed upwards, is bright with energy.
This card is all about renewal and vitality of life. It asks you to know where you want to be and how you're going to get there. Fun fact - apparently, if you stand in the eye of the Uffington White Horse and make a wish, you'll be granted wisdom, and your wish will come true!
Well, this one's pretty self-explanatory, to be honest. I need to know my goals and dreams and plan out how to reach them before putting them into motion. I need to allow the universe's Breath of Life to come into me to renew and revitalize myself. I will grab a hold of that sacred energy and its promise, allowing it to flow through me and help move my healing forward.
6. A lesson I must learn From this experience
Eight of Bows - Hearthfire
Stone: Apache Tear
Shown in this card is a campfire dancing merrily and bright. A group of hunters gathered round it, raising toasts and laughing together. They share the bonds of friendship, loyalty, harmony, and joy.
Meaning that life, love, and friendship are to be shared generously. It shows a longing for the celebration of security and unity with other kindred spirits. This leads to feelings of inner peace and well-being.
I need to allow hope inside my heart to lead the way forward. If I want the companionship and kinship feeling, I have to learn to open myself up to others without barriers or judgment and to stop looking for them to fail me. It also reminds me to celebrate all that I have endured and survived. Going forward, I need to embrace growth within myself and thrive wherever I may be. They're not the easiest of lessons to master, but I will keep going forward.
7. How can I begin to move past this experience
#18 The Moon on Water
Stone: Amethyst - definitely one to keep around you. They have a very calming and healing energy to them. The dark purple ones are also called the Artist's Stone.
This card shows us a marshy waterway with reeds popping up out of it. Under its waters in the foreground sits a large egg. Further back, on a small rise with barren trees, a horned bull is silhouetted against the full moon. While a murder of crows and a heron fly overhead. This card also takes the place of the more common Major Arcana #18 The Moon.
The Moon on Water shows us the first steps beyond physical perception and across the primal emotional world. She also embraces the aspects of fertility, sexuality, initiation, and the irrational fear of the creatures of the night.
I will begin to move past this through my own inner transformation and new awareness. I must listen to my inner voice and let my subconscious be heard. I will go beyond my physical person and let my emotional self to be heard and healed. I don't allow my anxieties and any irrational fears I may have to overrun me or drowned out my intuition.
8. A way my life will change as a result of releasing this trauma
#10 The Wheel
Stone: Apache Tear
On this card, a giant loom sits between two trees beside a body of water. On it is an unfinished piece of clothing with the Wheel of the Year represented in its design. Off of the sleeves are attached many bird feathers. Above the loom, the sun and the moon hang in the sky together. Behind it stand three herons, reminiscent of the three fates. This card takes the place of the traditional Major Arcana #10 The Wheel of Fortune.
The Wheel represents the cycles of nature and life. Change is an unavoidable and necessary part of life. We have to remember that we are ultimately the weavers of our own future. We make patterns and possibilities that affect our life. By taking control of our destiny, we mark our own path through fate.
By releasing this trauma, the Wheel turns, and change begins. The cyclical nature of time demands that change must happen or life stagnates. Life is always changing, evolving, and trying to maintain balance. There is no time to sit and wait for things to improve or arrive in their own time. I have the power to change this and make a difference in my own life. I must seize the opportunity to learn and grow from who I was and who I am currently. I will remember that there are seasons and tides in life, everything passes and changes eventually.
Ok, folks, that's a wrap! It wasn't necessarily pretty or all kittens and rainbows. But I believe that being truthful and showing what you can uncover and become consciously aware of with this spread could help others be brave enough to try it out.
If you're someone who's just starting out in Tarot, I highly encourage you to start from the beginning with Tarot Class: Intro to the Cards. I go over some general information on the cards and break them down for you a bit. Another good one to look at would be The Three Card Spread and its Many Uses. It's great for beginners and experienced readers alike.
Next Monday, of course, we'll have our Weekly Divination Outlook.
Wednesday, we'll be going over the next Major Arcana Card, #5 The Hierophant! So be sure to come back to class and learn all about it. I certainly look forward to it!
Who knows what next Friday may bring!
Let me know how you're doing and what you're thinking in the comments down below. As always before you comment, please remember to be kind and respect one another.
As promised, you can check out Reid Keera's social media here:
Website: Emerald Lotus Divination